Living with family and friends can be a joyous thing, but it can also have its downside. If you’ve read any of my previous articles, you are familiar with my storytelling approach to solving problems. This article will be no different because I have a story to tell.
How Living with Family Started
Back in mid-2023, my family members were going through turmoil. I mean, there was serious drama going on! I have a deep love for the family member that was involved in the situation. After finding out the nitty-gritty about what had taken place, I invited him to live with me. He needed a break from the situation; he was broken down by the issues he was dealing with at home. I had open and available rooms and wanted to help however I could. Reluctantly, he took me up on my offer and moved into my spare bedroom.
I wanted him to feel at home. Upon arrival, he found a nice note on his bed that said, “Welcome to Chateau Amy.” along with some products that would make him feel at home in my home. You never want someone to live with you, and they feel out of place. The first month was great until…
Needed My Space
I started missing having my space to myself. I lived alone before that point for nearly fourteen years and never realized how much I loved living alone until I didn’t. Walking around naked in the heat of summer was my go-to. Man, nothing cools you down faster than being butt-naked! Allowing my family member to live with me ended all of that!
In addition, there are certain things about how I like my house kept. I’m not a neat freak or anything like that, but everything in my home has its place, and I like it to be in its place! Little things began to annoy me. For example, He did not ensure the shower curtain was adequately drawn, so I didn’t see inside the shower (yes, I’m slightly crazy, but this irritates me). Please don’t leave bottles on the tub when I have created space for your items on the shower rack! Bottles leave rings on a porcelain tub over time. Okay, I’m back. I had a flashback moment there. Ya’ll pray for me. I have issues.
Living With Friends
You would have thought I had learned my lesson living with people, but sadly, I had not. In late 2023, a close friend was experiencing hardship to the point she was losing her abode and had nowhere to go. Again, I offered my residence as a place where she could get herself situated and build up some cash reserves. I mean, was I supposed to let her be homeless? What kind of friend would I be to allow that to happen when I had a place for her to stay? Like my family member, she accepted my offer and moved in with me.
I wish I could say I had given her a fair shake like I did with my family member, but I didn’t. Right off the bat, I was edgy, non-communicative, and downright unpleasant, and it had nothing to do with her. It had everything to do with me being tired of living with people in my home. The tension was in the air and I felt she sensed it as she stayed confined to her room while in the house. She had been living with me for two months without a deadline as to when she would secure housing for herself. She would tell me of her housing searches, but securing a place to stay seemed like a distant dream. Weary, I needed a concrete answer to her plan.
I decided to ask for rent. $400 a month was reasonable starting on the 1st of the year. I broached paying rent about two weeks before Christmas. You don’t have to say it. I know it could have been better timing, but I wanted to give her sufficient notice. She agreed that she should pay rent.
About a day later, I received a text stating that she would be moving out by Sunday. Say whoa?
Advantages of Living with Friends and Family
I did love the company at first. Like I said earlier, I lived by myself up until this point. It was nice to have someone to talk to. It was nice to have someone home when I got there.
I’m not fond of cooking, but my family member is a great cook. He purchased groceries and prepared meals that allowed me to save on food costs and eat delicious meals. In addition, he washed the laundry, which is another household chore I despise.
My friend would take the trash and recyclables out and purchase household goods. She didn’t cook but would, from time to time, offer whatever food she had purchased from a local restaurant.
So yes, there were some perks to having family and my friend live with me.
Things to Consider Before Moving Them In
What are the rules for letting family stay? This should have been the first question I asked myself before letting the phrase, “You can stay with me” flow out of my mouth.
How long should you let a friend stay?
- It would help if you had a proper understanding of the length of time they would need to stay with you to get back on their feet.
Will they contribute to the expenses of the home?
- Household expenses like water, sewer, heat, and lights will increase. If you need financial assistance to help cover the costs of the increase, it is best to discuss it with your family member or friend before they move in.
How will they contribute to household chores?
- Believe it or not, who does what household chores should be agreed upon before they move in.
Are they permitted to have company over?
- I don’t like anyone in my personal space I do not know well, and if you are like me, it would be a great idea to set these boundaries beforehand.
Are you able to handle having someone live with you for a while?
- Knowing whether you can live with a family member or friend requires a thought process and an understanding of who you are.
- If you are easily irritated or overly picky, you should forgo having someone stay with you to preserve the relationship.
How it Ends
Eventually, my relative cleared up his home situation and moved back to his own home, and my friend found a lovely apartment just right for her. Once again, I could enjoy the peace and tranquility of my home. I provided a place for those in need; I learned what I could and could not tolerate when rooming with someone. I would do it again with my boundaries firmly in place because a friend in need is a friend indeed.
Need a home to offer your family and friends sanctuary? Check out this article on how to buy a house on a meager salary.